Feeling Good

Happy Halloween!!!

I am feeling really good this morning; I think my ab muscles are finally getting into some kind of shape because I can suck my stomach in a lot more now... hmm, what does that mean? Anyhoo- yesterday I ate a banana on my way into work, had half a yogurt before lunch, ate some of my homemade veggie beef soup with noodles, then had some more soup with noodles for dinner... and four pieces of Dove dark chocolate. Yup folks, that's the sum of it yesterday! And, to top it off, I wanted a Snickers really bad yesterday but did NOT go to the vending machine!!! Woohoo.

I weighed myself this morning and it was up one pound from Saturday but I blaming that on the fact that I breastfeed and the fact that I needed to pump was weighing me down... LMAO

Today I am feeling pretty optimisitic about my eating; I am slowly working on my chocolate intake, trying to decrease it day by day, I had some cereal to eat on my way in, a banana for a snack, a yogurt- the Dannon Fruit on the Bottom, pineapple...mmm- a granny smith apple and that garlic chicken pizza from Lean Cuisine. So it should be all good so long as I behave myself... plus, I think I am walking around with the hubby and the stepson tonight for trick or treating... we are going to take the baby along too so long as it is not too cold-- he is a TIGER today!! Too. freaking. cute.

So I am feeling really good about myself today... I am starting to make my song list of some of my favorite hip hop songs out right now so that I will have something to work out to in the morning. Which I hope to get into this week since my body is still waking up at 4 am because it thinks it is really 5 am... why miss the chance to take advantage of it!!! Does that make sense?

Now, the fight is on between me and the Halloween candy... YIKES!!!

Here We Go Again...

So the weekend wasn't too shabby if I do say so myself... I knew I was going to be starting over again today, Monday, especially after my weigh-in last Wednesday... ugh, seeing my weight over 250 is so disappointing and it is time I do something about it. Right now, one thing I have total control over- considering I don't have control over surprise bills that come in, baby mama drama, who is going to hire me and who is not, and so on...- my health. I am not sick, I have no excuse for not making myself better... getting fit, eating healthier, taking time for me. What's stopping my? Not a darn thing but myself. I am tired of this... of my clothes not fitting me right, of looking in the mirror and seeing the belly pudge left there from having the baby... hmm, maybe I am babbling now.
Anyway, I weighed myself Saturday morning and I was back down to 248 and I have made a promise to myself to not go back over that 250 hump... it is too scary.
Oh well, I have to get to a meeting for work but will probably post more later as this small paragraph isn't all I have to say... surprise, surprise!!!!

Hmm...

Not sure why I am posting today as I don't have anything specifically that I wanted to say. But, I was lyingon my side in the bed this morning and felt along the side of my torso- nice smooth line and then I felt my beluga belly! Ugh. You would think, heck whenever I want to eat chocolate I ought to just reach down and feel the blubber because it is not a fun feeling. As long as I have been overweight I have never really had a belly like this... yes, I realize I had a baby and it took nine months to get that belly and it has only been three months but eww.

I have been really organized and just plain great in other areas of my life so now I guess it is time to be anal with me... my body, mind and spirit. (Does that sound cheesy?) I plan on writing down my lunch menu plus snacks that I wil take with me to work the same way I write down the dinner menu for the week... I should also write down a workout schedule or something with times and everything and really get anal about everything; I think that's how I have to be. So, I guess it is a good thing I wrote here because now I feel like I have a plan. Thanks.

SO I am too out there to even try to think of a title for this entry... I am also kind of depressed I weighed in this morning and I am up at 251... what the hell?!?!? I tried posting last week but I wrote everything in and when I went to ave it or something I lost the whole entry and did not feel like re-writing it. Long story short, my mom got me a new scale for my birthday because I wanted one, didn't want to buy one and she knew it... it's a nice one- digital, calibrates itself and the best part is that it stores the weights of two people so me and the hubby jumped on it that night and I am person 1 and he is person 2. He weighed more than he thought... I already knew about what I weighed. The other fun thing is that you can get on it and if you lose weight from the last time, it will show a down arrow and the amount of weight you lost... so it's cool, of course, it also shows an up arrow if you gain, not so cool.

Anyhoo, I am really fighting with myself as of recently. I have, as of this morning, 13 pounds to lose. I wanted to have most of it gone by the end of October- not gonna happen- so now I am looking to have it gone by Thanksgiving... that way I can enjoy my meal and holiday. Ugh. i don't know what my problem is though; I keep telling myself to stop eating the chocolate as I know that that is a problem for me and I can sometimes look at chocolate and I swear I will gain a couple of pounds... well, I am still eating chocolate. I also have been eating more than usual... like I am thinking about food a lot more... I seriously think I am a stress eater; when there is a lot on my mind I eat.

So now I am disappointed in myself... and what makes it worse is I am really not that comfortable in my body, I can't stand the way it looks and I know I have no one to blame but me. I would love to set up the Gazelle and be able to jump on it and I am going to talk to Brad about having it in the basement so I don't have to keep taking it out and putting it away it can just stay out... and I also want to put some songs on my MP3 player so I have something to listen to. Part of it is I am not taking time for myself and I wake up early enough where this shouldn't be a problem... I am also usually the last one to sleep so if anything I could do it then... and if I were really serious, mine as well do it both times. I am frustrated and tired of constantly thinking about it... all the same, I wonder why the hell I just don't do something about. It is making me edgy, I don't feel good- like my body is telling me I am not taking care of it, and I also have to keep in mind that I am still eating for two so everything I put in my body transfers to the little one. Ugh.

And speaking of the little one, who is wonderful and growing really well, I think he is going to be one of those really active types... how? you may ask considering he is 3 months old... he moves his legs all the time like he is running and has somewhere to go and I had him in the tub with me the other night and he was paddling his little legs and feet as if he were swimming- I plan on taking him to a class at the Y for babies and swimming, and he loves the outdoors... so, in my mind, put that all together and I have one of those outdoorsy active children! So mama needs to catch up before he leaves me behind...

And my other thoughts are 1) I know I will feel a lot better not just physically but all the way around- I. Know. This. and 2) I want to set an example, if you will, to the husband that I can be healthy, so can he, and it will be fun. Hmm, does that make sense?

So that is all of the fun stuff going on in the weight loss world of tiff...

This week, overall, hasn't been that bad in my opinion. Today wasn't the best and that is the fault of the existence of chocolate. I helped out a co-worker and he gifted me with Dove chocolates (bought for me by his wife, LOL), I had a couple of Tootsie Rolls, and then Brad was kind enough to get me some chocolate covered raisins at the store. God help me.

Aside from the chocolate fun, I have been eating pretty well, paying attention to my portion sizes and also making sure that I have snacks so that I don't go overboard. I'll be working from home tomorrow and that kind of makes me nervois but I would like to try a belly dancing video I borrowed from my sister...

That's about the update for now.

Weigh-in

So I am going to stick with the same weigh-in schedule that I had before- I actually even stayed on that schedule while I was pregant- and that is jumping on the scale every Wednesday morning after I get to work. My post-honeymoon weight was 238 and when I weighed in at the doctor's office a few weeks ago it was 253... my initial goal is to get to my post-honeymoon weight and then go from there, I have lost 4 more pounds! Not too shabby considering the last few weeks I was home I did not eat well at all so I won't say I am happy about what I way but I am not disappointed either. And the one good thing about it is I don't have to slide the thingy to the 250 mark on the scale, I now move it to 200 and then go from there. Hmm, I can't wait until I don't even have to move it to 200- that would mean Onederland for those who aren't in thinking mode yet this morning- but I don't want to get ahead of myself. I am hoping to get to 238 by the end of the month but if that is going to be the case then I had better get more aggressive with what I am doing- exercisewise and also with cutting out some of the extra calories... I have to keep reminding myself that I am not pregnant anymore (although I am still breastfeeding).

So, all in all, not bad news and now I have a better idea of where I am and what I need to do to get where I want to go. We'll see where I am at the end of the month in order for me to figure out where I want to be for the end of the year!!!
Biggest Loser is on tonight!!!!

Back to Work

So I am back to work today meaning I had to leave my baby... you want to talk about one of the most awful things in the world to do- I think this comes close to the top of the list. I miss him so much already which has definitely affected my stomach which is affecting my appetite.

I did eat some pretzel sticks on my way in this morning and then had a yogurt later on; I brought a Lean Cuisine for lunch and a 100 calorie pudding snack for dessert, plus I had pineapple for my mid-morning snack so I am good on food, just not hungry for it. I will eat my lean cuisine in a little while because I need to eat in order to produce milk to feed my little man. Ugh. All in all though, I would say I am having a good start to eating better and I am hoping I will be able to get out and take the baby for a walk tonight- get in some exercise. Wish me luck!