SO I am too out there to even try to think of a title for this entry... I am also kind of depressed I weighed in this morning and I am up at 251... what the hell?!?!? I tried posting last week but I wrote everything in and when I went to ave it or something I lost the whole entry and did not feel like re-writing it. Long story short, my mom got me a new scale for my birthday because I wanted one, didn't want to buy one and she knew it... it's a nice one- digital, calibrates itself and the best part is that it stores the weights of two people so me and the hubby jumped on it that night and I am person 1 and he is person 2. He weighed more than he thought... I already knew about what I weighed. The other fun thing is that you can get on it and if you lose weight from the last time, it will show a down arrow and the amount of weight you lost... so it's cool, of course, it also shows an up arrow if you gain, not so cool.
Anyhoo, I am really fighting with myself as of recently. I have, as of this morning, 13 pounds to lose. I wanted to have most of it gone by the end of October- not gonna happen- so now I am looking to have it gone by Thanksgiving... that way I can enjoy my meal and holiday. Ugh. i don't know what my problem is though; I keep telling myself to stop eating the chocolate as I know that that is a problem for me and I can sometimes look at chocolate and I swear I will gain a couple of pounds... well, I am still eating chocolate. I also have been eating more than usual... like I am thinking about food a lot more... I seriously think I am a stress eater; when there is a lot on my mind I eat.
So now I am disappointed in myself... and what makes it worse is I am really not that comfortable in my body, I can't stand the way it looks and I know I have no one to blame but me. I would love to set up the Gazelle and be able to jump on it and I am going to talk to Brad about having it in the basement so I don't have to keep taking it out and putting it away it can just stay out... and I also want to put some songs on my MP3 player so I have something to listen to. Part of it is I am not taking time for myself and I wake up early enough where this shouldn't be a problem... I am also usually the last one to sleep so if anything I could do it then... and if I were really serious, mine as well do it both times. I am frustrated and tired of constantly thinking about it... all the same, I wonder why the hell I just don't do something about. It is making me edgy, I don't feel good- like my body is telling me I am not taking care of it, and I also have to keep in mind that I am still eating for two so everything I put in my body transfers to the little one. Ugh.
And speaking of the little one, who is wonderful and growing really well, I think he is going to be one of those really active types... how? you may ask considering he is 3 months old... he moves his legs all the time like he is running and has somewhere to go and I had him in the tub with me the other night and he was paddling his little legs and feet as if he were swimming- I plan on taking him to a class at the Y for babies and swimming, and he loves the outdoors... so, in my mind, put that all together and I have one of those outdoorsy active children! So mama needs to catch up before he leaves me behind...
And my other thoughts are 1) I know I will feel a lot better not just physically but all the way around- I. Know. This. and 2) I want to set an example, if you will, to the husband that I can be healthy, so can he, and it will be fun. Hmm, does that make sense?
So that is all of the fun stuff going on in the weight loss world of tiff...
Anyhoo, I am really fighting with myself as of recently. I have, as of this morning, 13 pounds to lose. I wanted to have most of it gone by the end of October- not gonna happen- so now I am looking to have it gone by Thanksgiving... that way I can enjoy my meal and holiday. Ugh. i don't know what my problem is though; I keep telling myself to stop eating the chocolate as I know that that is a problem for me and I can sometimes look at chocolate and I swear I will gain a couple of pounds... well, I am still eating chocolate. I also have been eating more than usual... like I am thinking about food a lot more... I seriously think I am a stress eater; when there is a lot on my mind I eat.
So now I am disappointed in myself... and what makes it worse is I am really not that comfortable in my body, I can't stand the way it looks and I know I have no one to blame but me. I would love to set up the Gazelle and be able to jump on it and I am going to talk to Brad about having it in the basement so I don't have to keep taking it out and putting it away it can just stay out... and I also want to put some songs on my MP3 player so I have something to listen to. Part of it is I am not taking time for myself and I wake up early enough where this shouldn't be a problem... I am also usually the last one to sleep so if anything I could do it then... and if I were really serious, mine as well do it both times. I am frustrated and tired of constantly thinking about it... all the same, I wonder why the hell I just don't do something about. It is making me edgy, I don't feel good- like my body is telling me I am not taking care of it, and I also have to keep in mind that I am still eating for two so everything I put in my body transfers to the little one. Ugh.
And speaking of the little one, who is wonderful and growing really well, I think he is going to be one of those really active types... how? you may ask considering he is 3 months old... he moves his legs all the time like he is running and has somewhere to go and I had him in the tub with me the other night and he was paddling his little legs and feet as if he were swimming- I plan on taking him to a class at the Y for babies and swimming, and he loves the outdoors... so, in my mind, put that all together and I have one of those outdoorsy active children! So mama needs to catch up before he leaves me behind...
And my other thoughts are 1) I know I will feel a lot better not just physically but all the way around- I. Know. This. and 2) I want to set an example, if you will, to the husband that I can be healthy, so can he, and it will be fun. Hmm, does that make sense?
So that is all of the fun stuff going on in the weight loss world of tiff...
posted by Tiff @ 10:36 AM
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