Water & Water & Other Stuff
I noticed today that I am not nearly drinking the amount of water that I should be or even that I want to. I remember that was one thing I was really good at when I was losing weight before; water and lots of it and nothing else. My standards have become so low- I will drink just about anything and everything... I don't do diet sodas so when I have a soda it is totally a full punch of empty calories, I hardly drink juice and haven't even thought to get myself some Crystal Light, and the last couple of days I have maybe had one- at most two- bottles of water... for a whopping total of 32 ounces... WTF!?!?! I would definitely say there is some room for improvement on this front.
On to other news- and forgive me if I babble- I gained a little more weight but am still back and forth between 255 and 260- which sucks. Obviously no one needs to hear me whine about it but I will anyway because I can. I hate to sound cliche but I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. When you top it off that I am incredibly unhappy about my weight but also too lazy at this point to be doing anything about it, well, I just get more frustrated. I climb the stairs at work and I am so out of breath it is scary... again, I say, WTF?!?! I have my gyno appointment in a couple of weeks and how embarrassed will I be when I weigh in at more poundage than when I was in last time? Which was 6 weeks after giving birth to little man. It's disgusting, I know. I am disgusted with myself to say the least.
To add insult to injury- two things. 1) We had weigh-ins for the biggest loser at work and I am now 4 pounds above where I was when we started the damn competition... I am supposed to be losing, duh. The fact that there is money involved isn't even enough motivation for me. 2) I may have mentioned before by this coming spring I will have been graduated from high school for 10 years and I would like to look different i.e. weight-wise than I did when I graduated. I now weigh about the same if not a couple pounds more than I did when I graduated high school. So Sad. I am not dumb, I realize this is some sick irony considering when I came home from college I was 180 pounds- 80 pounds less than what I weigh right now. To top it off, I saw a pic of some girls I went to school with and they look great- I feel like everyone probably looks great right now compared to me *blegh* That image has stuck in my mind and I think, as terible as it is to day this, that could possibly be the motivation I need to get in shape. That's some twisted shit, I know, when you think that I could possibly be motivated by my health, my baby, my future... and so on. Urgh, it's a competition thing I think.
Anyhoo- as I wrap my brain around it, the whole idea of everything makes me sick and I want to lose weight and get in shape. Plus, somewhere in my head, aside from the fact that being active and healthy is a good thing, it is also glorified in my world- maybe because it is not common in neither my family or my husband's or even really around a lot of the people we know and associate with. So there you have, my diet motivation is to spite and compete with people who I haven't seen or talked to in nine years... HAHAHA. Sick.
On to other news- and forgive me if I babble- I gained a little more weight but am still back and forth between 255 and 260- which sucks. Obviously no one needs to hear me whine about it but I will anyway because I can. I hate to sound cliche but I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. When you top it off that I am incredibly unhappy about my weight but also too lazy at this point to be doing anything about it, well, I just get more frustrated. I climb the stairs at work and I am so out of breath it is scary... again, I say, WTF?!?! I have my gyno appointment in a couple of weeks and how embarrassed will I be when I weigh in at more poundage than when I was in last time? Which was 6 weeks after giving birth to little man. It's disgusting, I know. I am disgusted with myself to say the least.
To add insult to injury- two things. 1) We had weigh-ins for the biggest loser at work and I am now 4 pounds above where I was when we started the damn competition... I am supposed to be losing, duh. The fact that there is money involved isn't even enough motivation for me. 2) I may have mentioned before by this coming spring I will have been graduated from high school for 10 years and I would like to look different i.e. weight-wise than I did when I graduated. I now weigh about the same if not a couple pounds more than I did when I graduated high school. So Sad. I am not dumb, I realize this is some sick irony considering when I came home from college I was 180 pounds- 80 pounds less than what I weigh right now. To top it off, I saw a pic of some girls I went to school with and they look great- I feel like everyone probably looks great right now compared to me *blegh* That image has stuck in my mind and I think, as terible as it is to day this, that could possibly be the motivation I need to get in shape. That's some twisted shit, I know, when you think that I could possibly be motivated by my health, my baby, my future... and so on. Urgh, it's a competition thing I think.
Anyhoo- as I wrap my brain around it, the whole idea of everything makes me sick and I want to lose weight and get in shape. Plus, somewhere in my head, aside from the fact that being active and healthy is a good thing, it is also glorified in my world- maybe because it is not common in neither my family or my husband's or even really around a lot of the people we know and associate with. So there you have, my diet motivation is to spite and compete with people who I haven't seen or talked to in nine years... HAHAHA. Sick.
posted by Tiff @ 6:15 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home